The Embrace of Now

So, I’m a week past handing in my final project for uni. All things being equal, I should pass and be able to graduate next year. Seriously, I’m too tired to cheer, and I’m still not sure if I want to travel up to Queensland for a couple of days, dress up in a funny gown and hat just so someone can hand me a piece of paper. Having said that, it would be nice to meet a few people in person, some tutors that were outstanding and some fellow students who’ve become online friends.

I uploaded a 4000 word research paper concerning villainy in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and I feel my work only scratched the surface. The last couple of weeks were intense but really, last week spelled the end of six years of online study. It’s been a mammoth undertaking and while I got a lot out of the experience there are some things I would’ve done differently and others I’d rather not have done at all. But that’s part of the study journey and it’s different for all of us. 

Despite what most people think, I only give a reasonable impression of an organised person, and some of my 3rd subjects were very demanding on my time as well as my attention. Combined with too much work, a laptop that kept crashing whenever I opened a pdf, increasing levels of anxiety and depression and rampant insomnia, the last three months have certainly been a struggle. 

But I got there. I did what I could, when I could – and when I couldn’t, I didn’t. 

Sounds so simple when I type it out like that but believe me, it wasn’t. Trust me when I say, I agonised over every single bit of it, but (fingers crossed) it’s done now and the big question looming on the horizon is what’s next?

Who knows? There’s a number of projects starting to take shape, some of them more realistic and better formed than others. But rest assured, it’ll be a ride – and as ever, I’ll stress about the smallest details like I always do. And while I stress, I’ll be holding every moment of it dear, imbuing it with passion, like I always do. 

Meanwhile, today is my birthday. I have a new laptop that I’m still getting used to (another kind of stress), I had the most wonderful dinner cooked for me and the wine was a perfect match. There was cake too that I didn’t make and I watched my favourite Ben Wheatley/Amy Jump movie, Kill List – not for the faint hearted. I should write a movie review about it but not right now. 

Now is for embracing the passion of time off, chilling out and enjoying it for what it is – now. 

Because, as I said to a friend tonight in Italy, now is all we ever have. Let’s enjoy it ❤ 

The new laptop for new projects

 

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Mark
    Dec 03, 2019 @ 10:00:04

    As firm as a gladioli, the description still fits.

    Like

    Reply

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